If God Loves Parties, Why Does He Call us to Mourn?
Fundamentally, mourning is a heart response to what we lack and what we have lost.
In 2004, I had an encounter with God that changed the direction of my life. It started with the Lord speaking to me using a mysterious phrase:
“Babylon refuses to mourn, but my people will mourn before I return.”
I knew that this phrase sounded like something in the Bible, and so I looked it up. Sure enough, Revelation 18 speaks about the judgement on Babylon, the city of sin, luxury, immorality, and murder that manipulates the nations of the earth to do her bidding.
Part of the reason she is completely destroyed is that she refuses to mourn.
After this cryptic phrase, God showed me a vision of a city that had stopped everything for 10 Day period of worship, fasting, prayer, and mourning. This city was covered in a deep, golden-hued cloud, an extremely thick fog of God’s glory saturated the city. I knew this city would never be the same. I share more details about this amazing night in my book 10 Days if you are interested. In this article, I want to dig into a mystery.
Why does God want His people to mourn before the return of Jesus?
A Ministry of Mourning
That night, I understood that God had given me a ministry of calling people into mourning. I also understood that if people responded properly to God’s invitation to mourn, the result would be entire cities stopped and underwater in the glorious presence of God.
But, in that moment I had no idea how resistant people would be to the idea of mourning. After twenty years, I can tell you from experience: It’s not just Babylon. Most Christians don’t want to mourn.
As human beings, we instinctively recoil from mourning, just as we long for and desire joy and gladness.
To be honest, I’m no different. If you’re like me, you’d rather go to a party than a wake. You’d rather attend a wedding than a funeral. And you’d rather go to a backyard barbeque than start an extended fast.
Here’s the thing: It’s not just us. God also loves to celebrate. The prophets and parables portray God the Father as someone who is always throwing massive parties. Jesus was constantly found eating and drinking with people—His first miracle was keeping a wedding party going! The Kingdom of Heaven is described as an enormous wedding feast. Apparently, preferring feasting to fasting is part of God’s nature.
So, why would the God who loves a celebration invite individuals and even entire cities into periods of intentional mourning? And why would refusing to mourn be what excludes people from the greatest wedding party of all time, the wedding supper of the Lamb?
How should we understand the Lord’s call to His people to enter into mourning? And His righteous judgement on those who refuse.
Let’s first overcome our instinctive repulsion to the word “mourning” so we can see what God is inviting us into. If God is calling us to mourn, what exactly is He calling us to do.
What is Mourning?
Fundamentally, mourning is a heart response to what we lack and what we have lost.
We mourn because we’ve lost something or someone that we need or love.
We mourn because we don’t have something that we need desperately or love greatly.
We mourn because of a great loss, absence, or great suffering.
We mourn because of oppression, opposition, and persecution.
To mourn means to recognize the absence of someone or something we love and need.
So, why would the God who loves to celebrate call His people into times of mourning? As it turns out, in God’s Kingdom, mourning is one of the greatest pathways to joy.
“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.” Matthew 7:7-8
It’s an ironclad truth in the Kingdom that if we ask, we will receive. If we seek, we will find, and if we knock, the door will be opened.
But, unless we recognize what we’ve lost, what we lack, and what’s missing, we won’t ask for it, and therefore we won’t receive it. An invitation to mourning is an invitation to recognize what is missing so that we will ask for it and ultimately receive it from God.
In the Kingdom, recognizing our poverty, or mourning, is the first step towards real spiritual wealth. Often, we are blinded to our true condition by seeing falsely, a condition that is even worse than blindness. A blind person knows they cannot see. Someone with false vision is also blind, but their blindness is compounded by thinking they see clearly. This is the problem that Jesus pointed out to the Pharisees, who claimed to see but could not see the Messiah standing right in front of them.
“Jesus said, “For judgment I have come into this world, so that the blind will see and those who see will become blind.” Some Pharisees who were with him heard him say this and asked, “What? Are we blind too?” Jesus said, “If you were blind, you would not be guilty of sin; but now that you claim you can see, your guilt remains.” John 9:39-41
This is the same problem that Jesus pointed out to the church in Laodicea. They were not only pitifully poor from His perspective, they were under the delusion they were rich.
“You say, ‘I am rich; I have acquired wealth and do not need a thing.’ But you do not realize that you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind and naked. I counsel you to buy from me gold refined in the fire, so you can become rich; and white clothes to wear, so you can cover your shameful nakedness; and salve to put on your eyes, so you can see.” Revelation 3:17-18
God wants us to mourn so that we recognize what we’re missing and what we’ve lost in order that we might receive it. It’s mourning in hope, longing for the promises of God, aligning our hearts with God’s priorities, so that we might see them come on earth as it is in heaven.
Paradoxically, it is only by entering into mourning that we position ourselves to be comforted and to receive unquenchable joy. Truly joy comes in the mourning.
Mourning is about Humility
If I were to choose one word as a synonym for mourning, it would be the word “humility.”
James teaches us a universal spiritual principle: “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.” This principle is like the law of gravity. It is always working, at every time, in every place, and for every person.
There’s a simple way to guarantee God’s opposition to your life: live in pride. God responds to pride by pressing on the brakes. This is true for the worst sinner and for the seasoned saint who slips into pride. There’s also a simple way to guarantee the flow of God’s grace in your life: live a life of humility!
We do not need to over spiritualize humility by thinking of it as only a “heart posture.” There are very simple and practical ways that we can humble ourselves and thus, attract the grace of God that always flows to the humble.
Fasting is a way to physically enter into humility
Prayer and Worship are expressions of our humility and dependence on God
Confession of Sin and Repentance express humility to God
Uniting with other believers expresses our need for one another
Taking time away from work and normal activity in order to wait on God (Sabbath) is another form of humility.
Obeying God’s word over our own desires is humility
Costly love and service to others is one of the most powerful forms of humility
As the Matthew 5 says, “Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.” By stopping and sitting in the low place of humility, we open wide an avenue for the grace of God to flow to us, our families, and our cities.
“God gives grace to the humble” is not only a universal spiritual principle for individuals. It works at every level of analysis. God’s grace flows to a humble individual, but it also flows to a humble family, a humble church, a humble city, and a humble nation. The greater the humility, the greater the flow of grace, just as water flows more quickly down a steeper slope.
Can you imagine a city or nation where most of the individuals, families, businesses, institutions, and government organizations are postured simultaneously in the place of humility and consequently positioned to receive the grace of God?
This type of corporate humility would create a spiritual “low pressure system,” attracting the torrential rain of heaven over entire cities and nations.
When we think of mourning as humility, it becomes clear why God wants us to mourn: He wants us to mourn because He desires to release more grace than we could ask, think, or even imagine.
Mourning is about Desire
John 15:7 says, “If you remain in me, and my words remain in you, ask whatever you desire and it shall be done for you.”
Notice that part of the condition for answered prayer in this passage is the desire of the person making the request. In calling for the people of God to “mourn”, we are calling for desire to be awakened.
John 15:7 gives us an inside look at how God awakens Holy desires in His people, and into how those desires become prayers that God will always answer. Think about it. We desire things that we do not have. In other words, desire is another synonym for mourning. Mourning is a powerful desire for a person or thing that is absent or lost.
As we humble ourselves by setting aside normal activity, remaining in Jesus through the Holy Spirit, meditating on His words, our hearts will begin to bring forth holy desires, dreams of our hearts that emerge from union with His heart.
As John 15:7 shows us, prayers of desire that come from abiding in Jesus, and having His words abide in us, are prayers that the Father cannot help but answer. Mourning and humility before the Lord in the power of the Holy Spirit unlock the John 15:7 reality. God’s desires and our desires become one, leading to answered prayer, fruitful lives, and glory to God!
Three Aspects of Mourning: Personal Repentance, Intercessory Mourning, Longing for the Bridegroom
Having considered what it means to mourn, and why mourning is God’s pathway to joy, grace, and answered prayer, let’s consider three different aspects of mourning.
Personal Repentance: Living a Transformed Life
At a personal level, the best synonym for mourning may be “repentance.” Repentance is another one of those words that, unfortunately, has bad associations for many people. However, true repentance is a beautiful thing, leading us out of false and fleshly mindsets and into the glorious liberty that is ours in Christ.
Repentance is much more than confessing our sins to God, although that’s often the first step. Repentance in Greek (metanoia) means “to change your mind”. Repentance is what happens when our minds and hearts stop agreeing with lies and come into agreement with God’s mind and heart. As we are “transformed by the renewing our minds” we grow up towards maturity, “the fullness of the stature that belongs to Christ.” (Rom. 12:2 and Eph 4:13) Repentance means learning to think, feel, and act more and more like Jesus.
In Quietness and Trust: To enter into Repentance, we don’t have to beat ourselves up over every perceived failing or enter into intense introspection and navel-gazing. If we simply stop, wait on the Lord, and allow Him to be the focus of our minds and hearts, the Holy Spirit will begin to lead us into repentance. We can simply follow His lead. This simplicity in repentance will save us from legalistic pitfalls or spiritual pride that can be a hazard as we pursue holiness.
The transformation of the mind by the power of the Holy Spirit is real repentance. As Isaiah 30:15 says, “In repentance and rest you shall be saved, in quietness and trust is your strength.”
Humility: As we humble ourselves before God, we position ourselves to receive grace. As the Scripture says, “God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.” As this grace comes to us over an extended period of time, we begin to experience spiritual renewal, like sap flowing back into the branches of a tree in the spring. This spiritual life, flowing from the heart of God, causes spiritual growth and maturity in each of us. This is what it means to abide in the vine (John 15).
Right Relationships: One of the most important areas of repentance is related to broken relationships, especially those with others in the Body of Christ. Be sensitive to how the Lord may lead you to reconcile with other believers, family members, or acquaintances. It’s not all about prayer and worship. As the Lord teaches, it’s better to leave our gift at the altar and be reconciled to our brothers and sisters (Matt. 5:22-24).
It’s amazing to watch the work that God does in individual lives during seasons of voluntary mourning and humility. Special seasons of consecration often begin a work of personal transformation that revolutionizes that person’s life and can often lead people into to new callings and ministries as well. I’ve seen countless individuals powerfully transformed by the presence of God in this way—you would hardly recognize who they were before God began to transform them.
Ultimately, personal transformation of individuals in the Body of Christ is the foundation on which everything else must be built. If we as His Body look like Jesus, we will see the changes we desire in the world!
For further Meditation on Personal Repentance:
Matthew 5-7: How we think in the Kingdom
Ephesians 1: Our Identity in Christ
Ephesians 3:14-21: Our Trajectory in Christ
John 13:34-35: How we should Love one Another
James 3 and 4: Taming our Tongues, Wisdom from Above
Proverbs 3: Learning Faith
Romans 12: How we ought to live
Exodus 20:1-17: The 10 Commandments
Intercessory Mourning: Aligning our Hearts with God’s Agenda
Daniel Chapter 9 is a model of “intercessory mourning”.
Daniel is moved into a season of prayer and fasting by reading Jeremiah’s prophecy regarding the rebuilding of Jerusalem. Daniel understands God has declared Jerusalem would be desolate for 70 years. He realizes that 70 years have nearly passed and in response, begins to fast, pray, and confess his sins and the sins of his people with deep mourning, asking God to bring captive Israel back to Jerusalem.
Passive or Active?
It is interesting that Daniel did not read Jeremiah’s prophecy and conclude that everything was in God’s sovereign hands and there was nothing for him to do. This fatalistic idea of how God governs the world is quite common, but it is completely unbiblical.
Rather than take a passive approach, Daniel engaged with the promises of God through fasting, prayer, and mourning. He understood that God looks for human beings to partner with him in his actions in human history. He saw himself as part of the fulfillment of God’s promises. Based on His example, we need to repent of a passive, prayerless lifestyle and begin to ask God: “Show us Scriptural promises that You have made that have not yet been fulfilled. How can we partner with You in intercessory mourning like Daniel for the fulfillment of Your promises in our day?”
You Have a Role: As in the story of Daniel, we have a role to play in the fulfillment of God’s promises, the role of an “Intercessor”. An intercessor is a go-between, an advocate who represents one side’s interests to another. God has revealed to us His will so that we, as human beings, will ask Him to do what He has already revealed He will do. Likewise, we have an intercessory role with our fellow human beings, to communicate the desires of God’s heart to them.
God’s Desire, Our Desire: When the desires of God’s heart become the desires of our hearts, the status quo of this evil age becomes impossible for us to tolerate. The discord between what God desires and what we see in the world creates a tension in us that causes our hearts to enter into mourning for the fulfillment of God’s purposes.
God wants us to feel how He feels about this evil age so that we will cry out to Him for the fulfillment of His promises. He will then be moved by our agreement with His desires, and begin to do what we have asked Him to do. Our prayers are an essential part of God’s plan to fulfill His purposes and promises in as revealed in Scripture. (Rev. 5:8, Luke 18)
Four Major Prophetic Promises
As we study the Scriptures like Daniel, looking for God’s promises in our day, four major promises of God are very clear in the Scriptures and remain significantly unfulfilled. These four unfulfilled promises must for the very center of our life of intercessory mourning because they are God’s revealed agenda for this age before the Return of Jesus. Many of the things we regularly pray for, including revival in our cities, unity among believers, or the salvation of the lost, fall under one of these four major prophetic promises.
All four of these major promises require our participation, both in prayer and action. Also, all four of these promises are interconnected and mutually dependent on one another. God is looking for people who will mourn with Him and give Him no rest until these four great promises finally come to pass before the return of Jesus.
Promise 1: The Gospel of the Kingdom will be preached to every nation and ethnicity
Matt. 24:14 “The Gospel of the Kingdom will be preached in the whole earth, as a testimony to all the nations, and then the end will come.”
Promise 2: There will be unprecedented, supernatural unity among followers of Jesus
John 17:23 “Let them be one as we are one…that the world may know that you sent me and have loved them even just as you love me.”
Promise 3: There will be a global outpouring of the Holy Spirit
Joel 2:28-30 “I will pour out My Spirit on all flesh…Before the great and awesome day of the Lord.”
Promise 4: There will be Wide-Spread Salvation among the Jewish People
Rom. 11:12, 15 “If their loss means riches for the Nations, how much greater riches will their fullness bring…For if their [Israel, the Jewish people] rejection is the reconciliation of the world, what will their acceptance be but life from the dead?”
God is looking for those who will align their hearts with His heart, and mourn, like Daniel, until the promises spoken by Jesus and the prophets come to pass at last!
Mourning for the Bridegroom: Longing for the Lord’s Return
In Matthew 9:15, Jesus says, “Can the friends of the bridegroom mourn as long as the bridegroom is with them? But the days will come when the bridegroom will be taken away from them, and then they will fast.”
In this passage, the Lord envisions a future season where he will not be physically present with the disciples. Because of His absence and their love and longing for Him, they will enter into fasting and mourning.
What could be more human than to mourn our beloved when He is absent? And yet, Jesus has been absent from the earth for almost 2,000 years. If we say we love Him, how can our eyes be dry?
He is Coming Again
Regardless of our various positions on the Lord’s return, I’m sure that we can all agree on one thing—Jesus is coming back! As the Apostle’s Creed states: “He is coming again to judge the living and the dead”. So, while we may differ on various realities surrounding His coming, we agree on the basic fact—He’s coming again!
We are to Pray for His Return
I am also convinced we can agree to this, although it may not seem quite as intuitive:
God the Father wants us to pray for the return of Jesus.
Have you ever considered that when we pray, “Your Kingdom come on earth as it is in heaven,” that we are praying for the Lord’s return? While I desire to see the Kingdom come today as much as the next person, we also need to understand that this prayer will not be answered in fullness until the Lord returns.
The final prayer in the Bible is a prayer for the return of Jesus: “Come, Lord Jesus”, so we’re clearly on solid footing with this idea of praying for the Lord’s Return (Rev. 22:20). The cry of the early church, “Maranatha!”, is a prayer for the return of Jesus. Normal, New Testament Christianity is constantly praying for, longing for, and looking for the return of Jesus. Jesus and the apostolic writers are obsessed with His return, constantly speaking about it, talking about it, and longing for it.
We are to Eagerly Desire His Return
Praying for Christ’s return is less about words and more about the posture and desire of our hearts. It’s not as though saying the magic words “Come, Lord Jesus” over and over again will cause Him to suddenly split open the sky and make all things new. However, it is certainly true that He’s returning for a Bride arrayed in beauty, without spot, wrinkle, or blemish.
A significant element of the Bride’s beauty is her single-hearted desire for her husband.
There is an “appropriate” level of longing, desire, and heart preparation for the return of Christ that each believer is invited to experience, and that we are to display corporately. By and large, believers are a long way away from this appropriate level of desire (from heaven’s perspective). Many of us are content with worldly pursuits, even thinking in our hearts “Lord, could you put your return off for a few years.”
We need to repent of a wrong heart attitude toward Christ’s return and embrace a Biblical paradigm where every day is colored by an eager desire to see Him face-to-face. This heart of longing for the return of Christ is likened to the longing of a Bride for her wedding day. We are meant as the Bride of Christ to experience this same intense longing for His coming and the generation that sees Him come will experience this longing as no other generation has experienced it.
Mourning for the Bridegroom
Developing a heart of longing or mourning for the bridegroom is perhaps the most important kind of mourning we can experience as believers. The return of Christ is described as a wedding, where we as His Church are the bride. Can you imagine a bride who is just ho-hum about her upcoming marriage—“Darling, I love you, but…could we just put this off a few more years…or decades”?
Jesus is looking for the Church to desire Him and His return just as He desires us and longs to come to us. The desire of a bride and husband to be joined is our clearest Biblical image of this desire. I believe He’s looking for the desire of Earth for His return to match the desire of heaven!
Once again, this is not about advancing a particular theological position. Of the major theological positions out there on the Lord’s Return, who is opposed to believers longing for His coming? Far from being suspect or divisive, it’s a clear mandate straight from God’s heart.
I believe when God spoke to me twenty years ago, saying “My people will mourn before I return,” that our longing for the return of Jesus was the primary meaning of that statement.
God is inviting us to mourn the absence of the Bridegroom, to connect at a heart level with the absence of Jesus Christ, an absence that allows sin, death, and hell to continue its influence over the earth. He is inviting us to experience the absence of our Bridegroom so that we will cry out for Him, seek Him, ask for Him.
He’s inviting us to be part of a global prayer movement of like-hearted believers who are crying out with one voice, in word and deed, “Come, Lord Jesus” until the day breaks and the shadows flee away. Until He comes!
He wants us to mourn for the return of His Son so we can experience the Comfort of the Coming Kingdom.
Scriptures on Mourning for the Lord’s Return
“Mourning” (Matt 9:15, Matt 5:4)
“Groans and labors of child-birth” (Romans 8:23-24)
“Eagerly waiting” (Rom. 8:25, 1 Cor. 1:7)
“Watching and Praying” (Matt. 25:13)
“Longing for and hastening the day” (2 Pet. 3:12)
“Making ready/Preparing” (Rev. 19:7, Eph 5:27)
These Scriptures are just a starting point. Open up your Bible, and let God lead you!